Have you ever experienced Gaslighting?
Have you ever been in a situation where you walked away thinking “I must be crazy? Ör every time you try to bring up a topic the conversation is always turned back onto you? And you get to a stage that you doubt yourself as your confidence spirals down.
Believe this has happened to me, and it took me a while to work it out. I am naturally an introvert and at times find it difficult to think on my feet, as I like to go away and self-reflect to gain my own insights and solutions on how to approach these situations. This does work for me, as I am not afraid of bringing up a topic several times to gain closure. However, it did take me a long time to realize what was happening to me, and through my research, my confidence grew, and now I am going to share with you some of my experience and knowledge around ‘gas lighting’.
What is Gaslighting:
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where a person or group makes someone question their sanity, perception of reality, or memories. People experiencing gaslighting often feel confused, anxious, and unable to trust themselves.
The term gaslighting derives from the 1938 play and 1944 film Gaslight in which a husband manipulates his wife into thinking she has a mental illness by dimming their gas-fueled lights and telling her she is hallucinating.
Here are some examples of Gaslighting: Do any of these sound familiar?
You are crazy and others think so as well
Distortion leaving you to feel that there is something wrong with you
That never happened what are you talking about?
You instants are automatically shut down. Leaving you doubting yourself
You are fair too sensitive
Your feelings are not being validated
You have a terrible memory
Now you start doubting yourself and perhaps you were just imagining it
I am sorry that you think I hurt you
Leaving you thinking you have been apologized to but it is leaving you feeling that you have misjudged someone
You should know what to do and how I would react
Shifts the responsibility off them onto you
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Those who use gaslighting like to twist the truth so they can avoid personal ownership and responsibility of their behavior by telling their victim that they should know better and they are wrong. Leaving the other person feeling confused and mentally drained. This is a form of mental abuse, and quite often the victim of gaslighting will not speak up and withdraw with a loss of confidence.
Gas lighters confuse, intimidate and disempower others for the purpose of gaining control of the situation