lee stemm life coaching

Lee Stemm 

“People who have an empowered self-image will have a greater understanding of the world and their connection to it..”

How to Improve Self Esteem?

I had a real conversation recently with a client, who was lacking confidence around her leadership ability in her existing role. It was affecting her inability to speak up when she was confronted within a difficult situation. She was feeling that when she was dealing with some team members, that she felt disrespected, devalued and simply was not being listened to. She had been promoted to her new role internally, and there was a lot of push back from others who missed this opportunity.

Every day she was losing more confidence in herself, and she simply just wanted to close the door of her office and hide from her team members. Not only did it affect her job, it also slowly started to take over her personal life as well. She was doubting herself in all areas of her life, feeling inadequate and simply disconnected from everyone.

What Limiting Beliefs Hold you Back?

 We discussed in depth how this belief was founded? Often as we communicate, we can generalize, distort, or delete information.  In a nutshell this is the base of how we perceive the world around us. It is based on past experiences and events that have had an impact upon our lives.

What happens if your perspective is incorrect, and these beliefs are holding you back from achieving your goals?  What opportunities will you miss out on, as you watch on the sideline thinking, “If Only you took that chance?”. The way that we think will determine the actions that we take. You can have all the skill-sets to gain that promotion, or lead your teams, however if you have fear and limitations around your ability, then you will not apply these skill-sets, when you are under stress.

Who do you Become when you are under stress?

True character is revealed, when we are under the pump, and things are not going the way that we planned. Often, I ask my clients, and I pose this to you as well, who do you become when you are under stress? Does the leader rise above and lead their teams with courage and confidence, or does the leader within you withdraw and hide in the shadows?

Sometimes we refer to self esteem as imply ‘feeling good’ or having a positive attitude towards someone or a task. There is much; lets look at what self esteem really means.

Characteristics of Healthy Self Esteem

  • Tolerance and respect for others
  • Individuals who accept responsibility for their actions
  • Have Integrity and Trust
  • Take pride in their accomplishments
  • Self-motivated & willing to take risks
  • Capable of handling criticism
  • Loving and lovable
  • Seek the challenge and stimulation of worthwhile and demanding goals
  • Take command and control of their lives

In other words, we need to help foster the development of people who have healthy or authentic self-esteem because they trust their own being to be life affirming, constructive, responsible, and trustworthy

Characteristics of Pseudo Self Esteem

  • Egotism & Arrogance
  • Conceit & Narcissism
  • A sense of superiority
  • A trait leading to violence

Such characteristics cannot be attributed to authentic, healthy self-esteem, because they are defensive reactions to the lack of authentic self-esteem, which is sometimes referred to as “pseudo self-esteem.”

Individuals with Defensive or Low Self -Esteem

Individuals with defensive or low self-esteem typically focus on trying to prove themselves or impress others. They tend to use others for their own gain. Some act with arrogance and contempt towards others.  They generally lack confidence in themselves, often have doubts about their worth and acceptability, and hence are reluctant to take risks or expose themselves to failure. They frequently blame others for their shortcomings rather than take responsibility for their actions.

Do you have healthy self esteem or Pseudo Self Esteem?

Take a moment and be completely honest with yourself. Do you have healthy self-esteem or Pseudo Self Esteem?  Now the question is how you are going to improve healthy self-esteem.

Take the Confidence Quiz and see your score!

About the Author Lee Stemm

I empower Women within Business and the Workplace to smash through any limiting-beliefs while applying the right strategic strategies to build a thriving online business or explore career advancement opportunities. To recognize your full potential and strengthen your inner-game to believe more and achieve more while making a positive impact aligned with your purpose and values. Be the Authentic Woman in Leadership within your business or in the workplace.

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